What do the destruction of CBS Radio News and the Washington Post have in common? Both were accomplished by proud holders of The Order Of Trump-Lenin (formerly the Order of Lenin, renamed by Trump[1]); most also suffer from ADHD (Actual Democracy Hating Dude) syndrome.)

At the award ceremony Trump had to shout to be heard (over the sounds of bootlicking), but delivered his message: “Nice little media outlets you’ve got there. Shame if anything happened to ‘em. Capiche?”

Both honorees practiced a despot’s favorite form of censorship: voluntary self-censorship. It is cherished because it leaves no fingerprints.

Both destructions are part of the campaign to sanewash The President. No longer will listeners to 700 CBS radio affiliates get a chance to hear Trump, in his own words, demonstrate his incoherence. Ditto the thousands of former readers of the once-great Washington Post.[2]. Coming soon: The Donald Trump Hour, a daily hymn of praise on the 465 Nexstar-Tegna stations[3].

If you were paying attention in middle school, you know that the First Amendment applies only to the government. So the destruction of CBS Radio News[4] does not move the First Amendment Doomsday Clock.

And the honorees are:

• Jeff Bezos (owner of the former Washington Post) a billionaire dedicated to the man who is dedicated to making his economic class ever richer.

• Bari Weiss, a MAGA mole planted as editor-in-chief of CBS News to please Trump[5];a lickspittle who personally teaches the mandatory in-service course “Care and Feeding Of His Royal Highness.”

Every CBS employee (even the janitors) must attend Weiss’s course on pain of dismissal. The first slide in the deck is “Anticipate the master’s every desire and fulfill it before he asks, without any need for him or his FCC lapdog Carr to specifically request it. When they don’t say jump, guess how high.” Yes, that’s a long slide. Apparently PowerPoint etiquette is not a part of the grooming of Trump Lickspittles. The class ends with instructions on how to perform a self-spinectomy, followed by practice.

In honor of the President, the class lasts 1 hour and 47 minutes (longer if there is applause from the right side of the room).

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Footnotes

[1] Awarded for devotion to the despot above and beyond the call of duty

[2] Who would now be reading authoritarian drivel on its dishonest editorial page, if they were still subscribers

[3] And a big wet kiss of thanks for approving the $6 billion Nexstar./Tegna merger he once opposed. Soon to be syndicated to 295 Sinclair stations, which will air it in place of Kimmel and ABC World News Tonight.

[4] Following closely on the footsteps on Bezos’s destruction of the Washington Post. Turns out if the noun is singular, it takes an ’s  even if it ends in s.

[5] And say a big thank you for his approval of the Paramount/Skydance merger