P.S. A Column On Things

By PAUL E. SCHINDLER JR. I am from Portland, Oregon, Beaumont ’66, Benson High ’70, MIT ’74. Some things are impossible to know, but it is impossible to know these things.

Humor Templates 2: Walked Into A Bar

March 24, 2024

There are a number of humor templates that go in and out of style (mostly out). Most of those from my youth have disappeared. Feel free to rain down your examples, or any genres I may have missed.

One perennial that never seems to go out of style is the “Walked into a Bar” template. Usually three somethings, sometimes two or one.

One of my all-time favorites:

A guy walks into a bar. He sets a tiny piano down at the bar, and the tiny pianist starts playing up a storm. The bartender looks at the man and says, "That's amazing, where did you get that?" The man replies, "There's a genie outside your bar that will grant you one wish."

The bartender runs outside and sure enough there is a genie. Without hesitation the bartender says "Genie, I wish for a million bucks!" The genie snaps his fingers and disappears. Instantly, a million ducks fly overhead.

The bartender walks back inside and says, "Hey man, I think there's something wrong with that genie. I asked for a million bucks, but he gave me a million ducks."

The man says, "You're telling me. You think I asked for a 12-inch pianist?"

Simon Rich wrote a humorous essay about this joke from the perspective of the pianist.

Other good ones:

A hippo, a priest and the number 7 walk into a bar.

The barkeep says, “What is this some kind of joke?”

A reliable sub-genre is the “Minister, Priest and Rabbi” joke.

A priest, a rabbit, and a minister walk into a bar. The rabbit says, "I think I'm a typo."

Next Week: Tom Swifties

Posted at 9:25 pm Permalink 1 Comment

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Guy walks into a bar and orders four shots of whiskey. "What's the occasion?" asks the bartender as he lines up the glasses. The guy says, "I just experienced my first blowjob." "Hey, congratulations!" the bartender says. "You want one more shot on the house?" "Naah," says the guy, "Thanks, but if the first four don't kill the taste, I don't think a fifth is going to make it any better."

Posted by: Robert E. MalchmanMarch 25, 2024 at 10:56 PM

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Paul E. Schindler Jr.

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