[Ed. Note:I decided to kill off all of my pseudonyms. In case it is not clear, “Tragic On Purpose” is a play on “Tragic Accident.” Yes, I know, any joke you have to explain isn’t funny.]

Five members of Paul Schindler’s imaginary family died tragically last week of old age, irrelevance and of no longer being needed. They ranged in age from 40 to 56, and not been seen in public since the 1980s.

Since they were all the same person, there are no survivors, except for distant cousins, Detwiler of the Tribune and sportscaster Harry Viderci. Services were held inside Paul Schindler’s head. In lieu of flowers, just laugh.

They were preceded in death by J. Klein “Buster” Fedang, but not by much.

The eldest, Gene Paul and Paul St. John, were born in the summer of 1969, when, in violation of Oregon youth labor laws, Gene and Paul worked at two different radio stations: Gene Paul played progressive rock on KVAN radio, while Paul St. John was a talker on KLIQ and KLIQ-FM.

At least one KLIQ caller argued with St. John, claiming that his last name was pronounced “sin-gen.” St. John quickly and dishonestly claimed “Saint John” was his family’s Americanized pronunciation. Moments later, he lied again when another caller said St. John sounded a lot like Gene Paul over at KVAN; St. John promptly lied about it, saying they were two different people.

Harrison Klein was Eugene Oregon’s Godfather, naming him the  in the spring of 1972, just in time for the taping of the  New Eugene Oregon Show. Oregon passed away, unknown and unlamented, a few weeks later. Like Athena, Reginald A. Stuart-Smythe was born from a forehead… in this case, that of Paul Schindler. Smythe was the God of avoiding a rule at The Tech against having the same byline appear twice on the same page. Many was the time that Paul Schindler, P.E. Schindler, Jr. and Reginald A. Stuart-Smythe shared a page in the Arts Section of the newspaper. Gary S. Paul was born in the 1980s, when Edwin Diamond forgot Gene Paul’s name, and went for the first thing that came into his head. Gary S. Paul wrote numerous articles in AdWeek, including interviews with Stan Freberg and LA Morning DJs Ron Engleman and John London.