THIS JUST IN: UBER’S SUPER-SECRET CUSTOMER SUPPORT NUMBER

1-800-314-2308

Please do NOT use it for routine calls that can be handled by the modestly competent chatbot. Use only for edge cases something beyond the chatbot’s limited repertoire). Continued here.

I Am Not Saying Uber Fired All Its Customer Support People,

But I am saying Uber fired essentially all of its customer support people.

Uber has no phone number or email address. If you are lucky, clever, and have a lot of time, you can get to a chatbot. My desire was to send Uber a link to this essay, as a way to explain my decision to leave UberOne.

After the Idiotbot realized my issue did not fit into its tiny handful of categories, I asked it to forward my comment to a human.

 “Can’t forward stuff,” it replied.

 “Let me chat with a human,” I asked.

 “Why? I can get you help faster if you tell me the subject” it responded, rejecting all my subject suggestions because they were beyond its moron’s remit.

I typed “human being” several times. The Idiotbot responded, “OK, have it your way.”

And here’s the punchline. “The estimated wait for a support person is 6 hours.” Hah, it is to laugh. To call that support is some interesting new definition of support with which I wasn’t previously familiar.

This was at 10am PDT on a Monday. Of course that is after hours in India, Malaysia and the Philippines. Or it was lunch hour for both of the remaining human beings in customer support.

Here is the sad story I was trying to share with Uber “management.”

THIS JUST IN: UBER’S SUPER-SECRET CUSTOMER SUPPORT NUMBER

1-800-314-2308

Please do NOT use it for routine calls that can be handled by the modestly competent chatbot. Use only for edge cases something beyond the chatbot’s limited repertoire). Continued here.

Thanks For Nothing

THIS JUST IN: UBER’S SUPER-SECRET CUSTOMER SUPPORT NUMBER

1-800-314-2308

Please do NOT use it for routine calls that can be handled by the modestly competent chatbot. Use only for edge cases something beyond the chatbot’s limited repertoire). Continued here.

THIS JUST IN: UBER’S SUPER-SECRET CUSTOMER SUPPORT NUMBER

1-800-314-2308

Please do NOT use it for routine calls that can be handled by the modestly competent chatbot. Use only for edge cases something beyond the chatbot’s limited repertoire). Continued here.

Recently, I called for an Uber car. The app said the car would meet me “across the street” and nothing I could do would “change” its “mind.” The problem is that “across the street” from my house is 200 yards down a 30% hill. Don’t tell me to move the pin; I tried that and it didn’t work. On a map, across the street looks trivial. Here is the view:

I can’t take a picture of the whole route from my house to the pickup spot. It is behind the trees on the right, another 20 feet down and 20 feet across the street.

Uber has lots of ways to ask for lost goods, report a driver, complain about charges. Nothing, anywhere, about reporting crap service from the Uber app. Boiled down to its essentials, Uber’s reply was not ‘let me help you,” it was “buzz off Chucko, it’s not my job and I don’t care about your problem—I have real businesses to care for.”

I certainly understand. Uber does not care in any way whatsoever about my business. I will certainly share that with everyone I can. I hope your business program does well as I try to marshal all of my social media assets and those of my friends towards turning individual people (not all of us are in business accounts) to Lyft, which picks me up at my front door.

Please pass on my congratulations to the consumer side. As a former customer service manager myself, I know how important it is to keep people from asking for customer service. I sincerely hope you are doing a better job for the business side. At least your business customers, being more important than the rest of us, have a phone number. to call.

Paul “I don’t expect you to read this” Schindler

NOTE: I didn’t ask for money and  I don’t expect an apology. All I want is for a human being to say, “Gosh, our consumer support system is a deliberate attempt to prevent people from seeking customer support.” and “We’ll try to figure our how our system could consider picking you up at your desired/reasonable pickup point.” (Don’t tell me to move the pin. Tried that. Didn’t work)

Hey, how about using the three-words GPS system? If you entered “end iris grow” (not my real three words, to prevent doxxing) you’d be directed to within 10 feet of my front door.