I was listening to Roger Miller’s Kansas City Star, a crossover country hit in 1965, when I was 12, which means it was in constant rotation on my dad’s radio. It occurred to me that, while I had never been a children’s TV star, the lyrics did apply to me during my first year with CMP, 1979, when I was the Cupertino reporter for Computer Systems News.

I wrote parody lyrics and paid an anonymous professional musician to record them (in a passable Roger Miller imitation) and a backing track so I could try recording my own version. You decide which version you think is better.

There are only a small handful of people in the world who would get the jokes. Since I’m violating Miller’s copyright, let’s keep this our little semi-secret.

Cupertino Star: Professional

Cupertino Star: Schindler

Here’s the lyrics:

Cupertino star
Got a letter just this mornin’ it was postmarked Manhasset
It was typed and neatly written offerin’ me this better job.
Better job at higher wages, expenses paid and a car
But I’m on the beat here locally and I can’t quit, I’m a star.

Ha ha, I cover stories,  grinnin, ‘ wearin’ bowties and like that,
CSN’s my paper and I’m a hero of the
O-E-M set.
I’m the number one attraction at every disk drive coming out
I’m the king of Cupertino, no thanks, Manhasset, thanks a lot

Cupertino star, that’s what I are
Yodel-deedle ay-hee, you oughta see my car.
I drive a tiny Honda Civic with four wheels, Everyone thinks it’s a joke.
I got credit down at the local Fry’s,
And Gary Killdall tells me jokes.

I’m the number one attraction at every disk drive coming out
I’m the king of Cupertino, no thanks, Manhasset, thanks a lot.

[We got a Shugart coming up.]