P.S. A Column On Things

By PAUL E. SCHINDLER JR. I am from Portland, Oregon, Beaumont ’66, Benson High ’70, MIT ’74. Some things are impossible to know, but it is impossible to know these things.

Humor: Macarena/Lambada

August 28, 2022

Back in the dark ages of the Internet, I was a regular contributor to Topfive.com, which later became Humorlab, which later became defunct. I regularly submitted items with “Lambada” or “Macarena” in them. They have ALMOST all disappeared down the memory hole, but here’s one from November 2005:

The Top 16 Surprises in the New “Star Trek”

Kirk and Spock first met during the Academy’s mandatory Macarena training.
(Paul Schindler, Orinda, CA) Honorable Mention

And another:

June 13, 2005
The Top 16 Phrases Not to Use in First-Date Dinner Conversation (Part II) 
June 9, 2005
16> "at the last 'Star Trek' convention"
15> "stupid disclosure law requires me to"
14> "my resurrection after three days"
13> "bitches who insist on child support"
12> "after the aliens probed me"
11> "when *I'm* produce manager"
10> "trumped-up child-molestation charges"
9> "my lambada teacher"
8> "every single episode of 'Gilmore Girls' — twice!"
7> "now look, little missy"
6> "my former pimps"
5> "Humane Society restraining order"
4> "ignorant Scientology-bashers"
3> "made entirely of boogers"
2> "your Chicken McGrill"
and Topfive.com's Number 1 Phrase Not to Use in First-Date Dinner Conversation…
1> "my soundproof dungeo– er, basement"
[ The Top 5 List ]
[ Copyright 2005 by Chris White ]
=============
Selected from 187 submissions from 66 contributors.
Today's Top 5 List authors are:
———————
 Martin Bredeck, Hybla Valley, VA — 1 (13th #1)
Paul Schindler, Orinda, CA — 9, 16

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