As increasing numbers of loser corporations stagger into a future that puts the quotes in customer “service,” winners could offer a premium service: pay to talk to a human. A new profit center! It will produce more brand loyalty than insulting, repelling and failing to help customers by using only moronbots.

I suspect the “pay to talk to a human” product would be price insensitive. The idiotbot could offer a chance to buy human access after every 10 minutes of pointless exchanges.

At present, if you persistently ask for a human, you’ll get one. Many corporations stand ready to eliminate all human customer support—some already have done it. Those companies are working hard to lose my business, and, I hope, yours.

This presents another business opportunity that would be easy to implement. It would certainly pay off in the long run, as opposed to LLM support, which destroys a business in the long run by destroying customer relations.

Sooner, rather than later, intelligent corporations [1] will begin advertising “We offer human customer support.” That’s an easy way to distinguish a company from its competitors and would win my business immediately. I would throw all my purchasing support behind any company making this vow, while running away from any company that does not.

Hoping you feel the same way, let us begin a campaign. “WE DEMAND HUMANS.” Spead it in social media. Develop a meme (I am not artsy enough to make a meme out of this, but if you are, I will post it and do my best to make it go viral).

[1] As opposed to stupid corporations, stupidly using stupid LLMs for purposes to which they are not in the least suited.